Ooh, scariness

Just about the most frightening thing you can hear you dentist's assistant say to your dentist: "Ooh, you wanna try that?" while they're drilling into your jawbone. The lady throws her hands up in excitement, ceasing to suction the blood out of my mouth, and says that. That was a pretty scary line all on its own. Then it was followed by the words "new" and "experimental", at which point I figured it was time to get nervous. Luckily, I didn't get to be the guinea pig because apparently my tooth wasn't quite large enough to survive the procedure. Goodie. I thought that was bad. At least until it occured to me that my arm was starting to get a little numb. They had just given me yet another shot to numb the pain and by then I couldn't feel anything from my ear to my elbow. This sent up a red flag or two. Just how much is this going to hurt afterward if you've given me enough drugs to numb me down to my arm? I found out later that the answer was alot.
I am ever amused by the irony of life. And just how much the Universe likes to mess with us. He's sitting up there in his bean bag chair, sipping on a beer and eating popcorn, all the while watching our lives unfold like a TV series. Some of us are more amusing than others. My show, I imagine, is featured on Comedy Central. The day before I went to the dentist for my appointment of scariness, I worked outside all day with my friend Morgan. Amanda, idiot that she gets to be for the sake of Comedy Centrals millions, forgot to reapply the sunscreen. You know what ten hours of sun exposure and bare skin make? A really red snowperson. Thats what I got to be. But not just any sunburns, mind you. Oh no, I get burns across my back and the backside of my arms. That way I can lay on them for my three hour dental procedure. Thank you, Universe, for all those little things that bring a smile to my face each day. Granted, these things aren't particularly funny at the time that they occur.
And yet my favorite part of this week is the blunder of the year. Now for someone who is generally perceptive, this is a serious blunder. And unlike most of my stories, this one was funny when it happened, as well as after. My beloved cat Artemis...is not a girl. Oh yes, I forgot to check my cat's gender. They told us when we got the kittens they were both female. Despite the fact that everytime I've been told my pets were one they always turned out to be the other, I just decided to ignore better judgement. So I called Artemis a girl for months. Then one day, earlier this week, Artie lifted his tail up to walk in his prancy prissy style and my sister goes, "Oh my God, she has balls." This, of course, immediately drew my attention to the cat. And sure enough, she did. So Artemis is still Artemis but now we throw in the occasional "boy" to make sure he knows we've corrected our mistake. I'm not entirely sure he's forgiven me yet.