Made Of Fail

I want to write. But I just can’t seem to make anything show up on the page. Likely it’s due to what I’m feeling right now. Writing is so near and dear to me. It just seems right that I would be good at it. But I’m not. I’ve been writing for half of my life. And I suck at it. Almost ten years and I have made so little progress. The only significant difference between my work from ten years ago and now is that my vocabulary has gotten a bit better. It almost makes me want to stop writing forever. Perhaps go in search of something I can do somewhat decently. There must be something. At least, I would hope so. But I can’t stop. It would be like ripping an arm off and throwing it away. So what am I supposed to do? Keep writing crap or start spilling my own blood? Ugh. Where’d my pen go?

Damn it all to hell. I want to write. No, this isn’t writing. This is….ranting? Raving? Rambling? Reiterating my innermost thoughts? What is it? Self-pity? Yeah, that’s the one. Blogging? Journaling? All of those things.

Muse, why did you ever inspire me? Why did you do this to me? What is the good of being driven to do this, this thing that I love, when I do not have the skills for it? Then it just hurts. It’s like giving someone the undeniable urge to carve life size figurines and then letting them have access to a woodshop when they’ve never before even been in one. Who chose this gift for me? The drunken bitchy fairy from Ella Enchanted?

And why do so many people have to be so good at the one and only thing I want to do? People who have a writing career that’s lasted ten minutes can write a better piece than I can and I’ve been trying for ten years.

Shouldn’t people love what they are good at?

God, is this some sort of cruel joke because I haven’t been a good Christian? If I had been a good child, would I have fallen in love with something I was good at? Would I have been able to play the clarinet or paint a masterpiece? Would I have been smart? Or pretty? Yeah, I know. It’s not the man upstairs to blame for me being made of Fail. I probably just gobbled up a lot of Fail as a child. Or beat out all the Win during those “beat your head against the wall” tantrums from my youth.

My Memory Muse Died

Ugh. Just ugh. Sometimes there are little things I tell myself I'm going to write down and for the life of me I can't remember what they are when I finally get to a piece of paper to write them down. Dammit all. I just had one of those moments. I hate those moments.

Sweet Blog, I have missed thee

Damn, I missed this thing. I don't even know what to rant about, I'm so thrilled to have it back. Hmn.....

Ok, how about this.

So, I was watching Merlin (the newest episode) and was quite amused to see Uther's face upon realizing that he had not only married a very disgusting troll but that he'd also consumated said marriage with said troll.

That was it.

I can't remember what I wanted to blog about today. I'm being so distracted by the how glad I am to have my blog back that I have no idea what my idea was.

So.......

Peace out.

I shall return.

Maybe not tomorrow, since I have class and will be out late....

But definitely Thursday.

If I were the Happy Type

I would jump around for joy because I have my blog back! YAY!

Help me out here, Technology Gods

So, I went through every setting on this thing and I think I fixed the problem and should be able to see the text in here now. *almost hopes*

Ugh. Still not working. I wonder why not. I really miss this blog.

http://totally-a-wannabe-author.weebly.com/

Drat. I am going to have to get a new blog. This thing is not working.

*growls and curses in French* Blog still not working. But I don't want to get a new one...

Stupid blog...

So, what? I'm going to have to have super long titles whenever I want to blog something? Ugh. I don't want to take the time to get a new blog...

And still not working!

My Blogger is not working!

Witchapalooza!

WAS AWESOME!!!

WE HUGGED THE LEAD SINGER OF THE REMUS LUPINS!!!

Why Murphy?

I despise my life. I really do. I have come to the conclusion that all the evasive manuevers I take to stay out of trouble inevitably lead me into more trouble than I was anticipating to begin with. It really rather sucks. It's Murphy's Law. Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong. And it always does. This is my life. I should really be used to it by now.

Grandma Lee Should Have Won

I liked the Chicken Catcher and all, really...but he beat Barbera Padilla? Seriously? Oh well, America has spoken. Hmn, George W. Bush did win after all...

Congrats Kevin!

Almost three in the morning

Yes, it is. And I should really be getting to sleep.

So, just a note:

KISS and BUCKCHERRY at ARCO ARENA!!!

WITHCHAPALOOSA at ARCO ARENA!!!

I like Arco Arena now...

GOING TO BOTH?

Hopefully.

Random?

Yes.

Why?

Hello? It's three in the morning. Brain goes off at midnight.

Rejection!

I totally got left out of the loop this time. Not on standard gossip, not on some school goings on that hardly apply to me. Oh no! I got left standing in the rain without an umbrella by my own sister! She had a boyfriend without ever telling me! I mean, it was horrible for her. He dumped her between two class periods but she never told me! Ugh. I feel so left out. She only talks to me. No one else. And yet she told mom but not me! What the hell? *grrr* Not cool. I tell her when she asks about my tragic usually non-existant love life. Well, except that one time...nevermind. I guess I understand. Mostly.

America's Got Talent

VOTE GRANDMA LEE!!!

Fan Fiction

What is it with people that frequent fanfic sites and just have to compliment the skills of EVERY SINGLE damn person that posts a story that wants to masquerade as decent fiction? Good God, fanfiction.net has some of the WORST fics I have ever read and no one ever says anything even slightly critical. They just praise! Excessively! What in the hell? That just makes people who write something good seem less talented. It puts them on the same level as crap. Thanks, guys. Geez, get a set and tell people the truth. Be polite about it, sure, but say something honest.